


Coffee, Cigarettes and Beer

by Mistress_Kalamity



Category: Palo Alto (2013)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-23 15:33:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7469133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mistress_Kalamity/pseuds/Mistress_Kalamity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every time I see him...every fucking time...he breaks my heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coffee, Cigarettes and Beer

I don't think we should be involved in the mess that we are. April told us about this party and I have to admit I'm a little hesitant about going. It's full of noobs and angry college kids, mad that they spent thousands of dollars on degrees they'll never fucking use. I'm not going to college. That's Teddy’s path. I'll stay here and just think about the world as it is and fuck a few bitches from time to time. I might even sling some dope but college fuck that. 

Teddy and April left me to go fuck (I'm sure). So I'm here with a cup of beer and a half smoked joint. I'm sure that the hangover this is going to cause will have me incapable of human function and contact. It's not like I'm not used to it. I've been hungover far worse than this. Of course it's usually from pot not really liquor. I don't like when Teddy and April go off alone. It's like, I've known blondie for longer but he prefers to be with her. She just gets her way. Her and that stupid yellow coat. God, I just want to rip all her pretty little hair out. 

I know Teddy ain't gay but sometimes I wish he was. So he'd look at me the way he looks at her. He doesn't like me like that though. I asked him once when he was drunk and I wasn't. He laughed it off and told me I was fucking crazy and stupid. Sure my feelings are stupid. I'm just fucking stupid. He thinks of me as his brother. I don't even care anymore. I guess being his brother will make sure that I can stick around and when that bitch hurts him, I'll swoop in and rescue him. I wonder if I should tell him that his ‘girlfriend’ is fucking her coach. I'm sure he'd love to know that. 

Listen to me! I sound bitter and jealous. I'm not. Teddy was mine first and he'll always be mine. I don't care what that bitch thinks she can give him. She don't know him like I do. She don't know all his quirks and she don't know what makes him tick. Shit, I know more about that boy than his own fucking parents. So yeah, he can fuck her and be with her but at the end of the day, Teddy is mine. He comes to me for weed and smokes and liquor. He comes to me when he's upset. He comes to me when he wants to hang out. He doesn't bother with that bitch. 

Teddy knows that I love him, I just think he's ignoring it. He doesn't want to be with me yet he knows it's only right. 

“Hey, let's get out of here,” Teddy smiles. 

I didn't even see him walk up. We go outside and he lights up his cigarette. He doesn't look at me, I find it really sexy when the wind blows through his curly hair. Of course he doesn't see me look. 

“So April, thinks she might be pregnant,” Teddy sighs. 

“Oh. Congratulations,” I say sadly. 

He's definitely not going to be with me now. 

“It's not mine,” he says and takes another drag from his cigarette. 

“What?”

“We use condoms all the time and I make sure that it all gets in there, so she had sex with someone else and it's his kid.”

“It's her coach!” I blurt out. 

“What?”

He turns to me and I feel instantly guilty. Why didn't I tell him sooner? I should've said something, I should've done something. 

“I caught them behind the tree by his house. He was kissing her and that shit didn't look like rape,” I admit. 

“Why didn't you fucking tell me?!”

“Because I was scared that you'd think I was a liar because you know how I feel!”

“Excuse me?”

“I love you, Teddy!”

He drops the cigarette and looks at me. My heart shatters and I know he's gonna get mad. He always does whenever I tell him. 

“Fred, you're fucking disgusting. I'm out of here. Find another way home.”

I watch him walk off and I can't seem to muster the strength to even speak. 

The next morning is torture because the sun makes my eyes and my head hurt. I quickly get up and grab some cold coffee from the kitchen, deciding that today is going to be a stay home kind of day when I hear my doorbell. It took me quite a while to get there seeing as I assumed someone was home. You can believe my shock when I came face to face with a very chill looking Teddy. He had his hair pushed back from his face with a headband and a white button down on. His pants were the same as usual, same with his shoes. 

“Can I come in?”

“After what you said to me last night I don't know if I want you in my house?” 

“Fred, I'm serious I really wanna talk to you.”

I don't know why I even let him in but I do. He stands awkwardly in my foyer with a cigarette I just noticed tucked between his fingers. 

“So….about last night….I'm really sorry.”

“Again, Teddy? I fucking pour my heart out to you and you're sorry again?”

“It's not like that, Fred. I'm just….I don't know how I feel. We've been friends for years and I really respect you but….”

“But?”

“I don't know how I feel about my best friend telling me he loves me.”

I cross my arms across my chest and sigh. Did he really show up just to reject me again?

“Get out, Teddy. I'm tired of this!”

“Wait! I didn't mean it how it sounds. I meant it like….I don't know how I feel about myself. There's nothing wrong with you loving me,” he says. 

“That sounds just as bad as you saying you don't know how you feel about it.”

“Fred, for shit sake, can you just not right now?”

“Can I not what?! Teddy, you show up at my house and tell me you don't---”

He cuts me off with a kiss. When he pulls away my heart stops. What just happened? I look into his eyes and he lets out a small chuckle. 

“I love you too, Fred. I fucking love you and I was just scared to love you, and I'm sorry.”

“Sorry? Teddy, I have been in love with you for years and you've rejected me. You've left me alone to self medicate with drugs and alcohol all because you just couldn't admit to yourself that you love me,” I exclaim. 

“I know and I'm sorry. Shit, I know my fucking sorrys won't fix it but I'm hoping that you'll see that I truly regret ever rejecting you.”

I suck my teeth and cross my arms over my chest. 

“I also would not be angry at you if you never wanna see my ass again.”

I pull him in because he's what I need and want right now. No one else gets my neurotic behavior. I rip off his shirt and the buttons fall over the ground. I pull him up to my room and push him onto my bed. My hangover will not stop me from getting what I want. I want Teddy. I want him inside of me.

“Are you ready for me?”

I nod and climb on top. We kiss deeply and I feel his finger making their way to my boxer's waistband. He slips the fabric off and I do the same with his skinny jeans. He really doesn't leave much for the imagination. I know he's big. I take him, all of him, and I feel absolutely alive. He is the one I needed. Nothing would fill this gap that good.

I lay down next to him when we both finish and we smile at each other.

“I love you, Fred. I'm sorry for ever making you feel that I didn't.”

“Let's not dwell on it. I don't care because I have you now.”

**Author's Note:**

> I just found this today and forgot to post it. I'm a brain loser. Don't hesitate to find me on THF under mrsbillkaulitz2012 or wattpad under M.K. 
> 
> Leave comments, kudos and subscribe


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